Where to start???
Ok, so here’s the deal. I may have a slight problem with TikTok.
“Would you say you have a TikTok addiction?” You might ask.
“What?! Humph…addiction?! Psh! No!…no…maybe…You know what, no one asked you!” I might respond.
And yes, this is the conversation my inner monologue and I have on a regular basis. What of it?!
Anyway,I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea that kind of “magically” came across my train of thought, and trying to figure out how to seriously express it.
So, here goes…
While perusing what has been dubbed by most as “Christian TikTok”, which is still TikTok, but like the corner of it that is reserved for Christians. I guess?! For me it really just means I started liking some Christian themed TikToks, and now the majority of my feed is that…and animals being uncontrollably cute.
Don’t judge me!
Ok, I really should get serious.
Recently I was actually doing really well with not getting on TikTok, when in my boredom, I finally gave in…again. And, as per usual, I found myself falling headlong down the rabbit hole of “Christian TikTok.” Some of the content I see from Christians I really love, like anything on their from pastor Michael Todd…that dude is straight fire, and the Holy Spirit speaks to me in big ways through his messages. Admittedly there is also some that makes me cringe and think “Please stop. No really, you should stop. You realize you’re not helping at all, right?”
But I digress.
I stumbled across a video that included a snippet from a message by pastor Jeff Cochran (Where Freedom Comes From). It was referring to freedom from our sins, our negative thoughts…anything not from God that we feel held captive by. In the clip, Jeff said, and I’m paraphrasing a bit, “Stop saying ‘I’ll try, I won’t do that again.’ Stop saying, ‘God I know I need to stop that. I really am trying.’ Stop saying ‘I hate…’ Start saying and believing ‘God, I Love You More…’”
Oooof!!!
Talk about a gut punch.
But this message was not one condemning anyone for using the wrong rhetoric. Instead, it was giving advise for how to defeat the enemy and the hold he may have on you. For me, the biggest hold has been pornography. And I have gone to some dark places in that addiction. I’d love to tell you hearing the message cured me, and I no longer have that addiction. But the truth is that when addiction takes hold, it grows deep roots within us.
So, I’m still struggling.
But now, after going through the 12 steps (which I absolutely recommend), and fighting this on and off for years, I finally feel like I can start fighting it from the right direction.
What’s the point of sharing this?
Here’s a better question to throw back at you. How have you been fighting your own addiction, demons, or whatever you’re fighting? From a place of hate? Or a place of love?
We don’t win the war against sin and death through hating the sin within us, hating ourselves, or by “trying” to fight it on our own strength. We win the war by loving the God who created us as His poetry; His MASTERPIECE more than we hate. We win by loving ourselves and others as God loves us. We win by turning our gaze to Him and loving and trusting Him enough to give us the strength and weapons to strike sin down in our lives.
Rather than hating myself; hating that I go back to my addiction–and did so more than ever throughout the decade that was 2020 and COVID–and believing that I am unworthy to be free of my addiction (because I hate who I am in it), I am slowly learning to love God more. That will translate to loving myself as I see more and more how He loves me.
That got heavy. So, to lighten things up a bit, let me leave you with a quote from Gandalf in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. I know the movies weren’t great but calm down. This quote is originally from the book.
When Gandalf is asked by Galadriel why he puts his hope in the small, mundane, and seemingly unassuming things and beings of the world he responds, “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? I don’t know. Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.” (J.R.R. Tolkien via Gandalf)
What I get from this quote is that when we put our hope and effort into love; into God, who first loved us, evil; hate loses it’s power. God is more powerful than any lie we can tell ourselves or be told by the enemy. We just have to see love as greater than hate.
Love God, love ourselves, and love each other…without pretense. Let Him be your courage. And watch Love win.
The Random Musings of a Nerdy Christ Follower 